Mindiscovery - nlp, ss, poems, phrase ambiguities

Reframing is an interesting theory which I am studying. I am getting most of my material from Bandler and Grinder's books. The basics are simple in explanation, but definitely complex in procedure. You take a situation where you are strong in *X* (confident, exciting, funny, quick-witted etc.), imagine it, feel it, see it, hear it - now take those feelings from situation *X* and place those feelings in situation *Y* (eg; lack of confidence - approaching women) which you want to feel *X*.

I have discovered an interesting way to reframe that seems to work wonders for me. What I have done is look at all of my walk-ups and attempts at Pick ups as an experiment. If it is an experiment, the object of each attempt is to see what works and what does not. If I fail using an approach, it is duly noted and I try something else. It is a great learning experience - I am not nearly as nervous because of this - if it fails - it is just an experiment anyway. Like in grade school science class I suppose, but without the bad grades. So I am reframing a pickup (which is thwart with nervousness) to an experiment for school (which is like homework).

Before I start the approach, I have a PU experiment sheet that I fill out- Click here to see it(Copyright 2001 Mindiscovery & David Johnson) - containing pre and post information.

Now, this is best filled out after the attempt because it will free you up from specifics - remember Process, not Content. If you are too adhered to a particular style or way of thinking, you cannot change when it is needed - and change and flexibility is extremely important when using these tools.

If I am working on a specific type of opening (remembering different situations dictate different thinking and mindsets), I might mark that down first - but this is best used when it is left blank -- but having said that, if you are truly trying to work and perfect an opening strategy (funny, compliment, neg) or approach (cold, 3 second rule, 'hi routinue' etc.) , then by all means, mark it down first so you stick with it.

Once I have the experiment ready on paper and in my mind, I go for it. I approach the girl and try whatever comes to mind. After I finish with the pickup, I go back and write down what I have learned from the situation.

Now this might seem like a laborious task, but I find it greatly enhances the learning experience. I don't have to second guess myself or remember what I have and have not done because I have written it down. Also, writing it down forces me to mentally go thru it in my mind and find the mistakes and challenges.

Here is a recent tip I got from ASF. A poster named Stevie_m came up with this ingenius method of pushing the fear down when approaching -
" I had an interesting expeience that allowed me to reframe the way I looked at a girl , and also in consequence, I believe the way I look at girls generally. This is a useful and important learning potentially.
I went out with my friend and we met up with a guy he knows and a girl from work they both knew. She reminded me of my old girlfriend from years ago, someone I had a lot of fun with ..someone who treated me well and was really into me. I am not saying that this new girl looked just like her , it was more of the expression she had or the way she moved. The effect of this on me was singular. It allowed me to take the old feelings ..useful and positive feelings ..that I have about my old girlfriend and project them or transfer them to the new girl. This transference allowed a major reframe that completely changed my state and my behavior. I interacted with the new girl in a fun , easy going ,entertaining way. I knew I didn't have to impress her as she alread "digged" me ..after all we had "already" had so much fun together. The results were very good . She and I had lots of kino ...she kept following me around and talking to me ...kept sneaking glances at me when we were apart and smiling. In short she showed major signs of being attracted. She even played with her finger ring in a Freudian manner I used some pattern fragments on her. I will use this again. It allowed me to approach and interact in a totally natural and fun manner. Try it !!!! Stevie.